Laughter, The Best Medicine

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Jun 13, 2010 5:15 am

A guy took his girlfriend to watch the movie Beauty and the Beast. The cinema was showing two different movies on separate floors, and an usher stood at the entrance to direct people to the two screening rooms.

As the guy and the girlfriend walked up the stairs, the usher looked at them and called out loud “Beauty and the Beast, please proceed to the second floor.”

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Jun 13, 2010 3:23 pm



LOL..... somehow this funny pic reminds me of my forum sis....

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:43 am

A man and his wife were at the circus watching a shapely young woman dancing from a trapeze. The woman appeared to be wearing a very revealing costume, and the wife exclaimed, "oh my god, there's nothing underneath!"

At first the man agreed, but watching the woman closely, he saw there was flesh-coloured material under her costume. So he said "Yes, there's flesh-coloured material underneath."

The woman replied. "I mean there is no net underneath the trapeze. What were you referring to??"

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Jun 20, 2010 8:37 am

Walking home with a hangover one Sunday morning, a man discovered that he had lost his hat. He decided the easiest way to replace it was to go to church and steal one from the entry.

Once inside, he heard s sermon on the Ten Commandments. At the end of the sermon, he said to the clergyman, "I want you to know that I came here intending to steal a hat, but after hearing you, I decided not to."

"Wonderful," said the clergyman. "What did I say that changed your mind?"

"Well," said the man, "when you got to the part about committing adultery, I suddenly remembered where I left my hat."

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:33 am

A couple went to an art gallery to look at the exhibits. One painting was of a beautiful naked woman with only a little foliage covering her breasts and …. erm ….. you know where …

The wife considered the painting was in bad taste and moved on quickly, but the husband lingered, completely transfixed.

“What are you waiting for?” she asked her husband. “Autumn??”


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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:48 am

haha ..... guess who's this??




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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:31 pm

Arthur rubbed the old lamp he'd purchased at a flea market, and sure enough, a genie appeared. "Thanks for setting me free," said the grateful spirit.

"Aren't you going to grant me a wish?" asked Arthur.

"Are you kidding?" answered the genie. "If I could grant wishes, would I have been in the lousy lamp all this time?"

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Successor on Sun Jul 25, 2010 3:46 pm

Oh Gosh at the picture of a person at a cubicle surfing laptop in this way..

_____________________


When you kiss someone for a minute, you both burn about 2.6 calories.

According to that math, it would take about an hour of kissing to burn 156 calories. A person who runs for 45 at a 10mph pace burns 538 calories. Which one would you rather do?

I would rather kiss a person for 6 hours instead =)

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:40 am

Some funny restroom signs around the world Laughing












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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:55 am














Edited: haha... deleted the last one, cos a bit RA Razz

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:11 am

You know you’ve joined the cyber age when:

... you try to enter your password on the microwave

... you’ve a list of 15 phone numbers and nine email address to reach your family of four

... your mum email you in your room to tell you that dinner is ready, and you email back asking “What’s for dinner?”

... you chat several times a day with me, a stranger on the net, but you haven’t spoken to your next door neighbour all year.

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:13 am

Two spinsters put an advertisement in the newspaper for a husband. Soon after, one commented to the other that there had been no lack of replies.

“So why didn’t you take advantage of them?” the second spinster asked.

“Because the answers were all the same “You can take my husband.’”


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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:14 am

At the scene of a bank robbery a police sergeant ran up to his inspector and said, “The thief got away, sir!”

The inspector was furious. “But I told you to put a man on all the exits,” he roared. “How could he have gotten away?”

“He left by the entrance, sir!”

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by princess of persia on Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:02 am

so funny...rofl

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:51 am

no one has jokes to share?

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:53 am

When her late husband’s will was read, a widow learned that he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone.

“Sorry, lady,” said the stone cutter. “I inscribed “Rest in peace’ on your orders. I can’t change it now.”

“Very well,” the widow said grimly. “Just add 'until we meet again.'


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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:54 am


“I was relaxing in my favourite chair on Sunday,” said one office worker to another, “reading the newspaper, watching a game on TV and listening to another on the radio, drinking beer, eating a snack and scratching the dog with my foot – and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there doing nothing!”

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:55 am

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.

“What took you so long to answer?”

“I was in bed.”

“What were you doing in bed this late?”

“Getting a second opinion.”


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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:48 am

Little Johnny’s father found him holding his pet hamster asking “one plus one, how much is that?”

“What are you doing?” Johnny’s perplexed father asked.

“My teacher says that hamsters multiply quickly,” Johnny replied indignantly, “but this dumb hammy can’t even add.”

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:51 am

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here knows how to pray?”

A man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.”

“Good,” said the captain, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we’re one short.”


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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:23 am

Ray and Jim, both retirees and widowed, were discussing what they do for dinner. Ray asked Jim if he cooked for himself.

“Only rarely,” Jim said. “Usually I go to restaurants with other retired widowers. We call ourselves ROMEO – Retired Old Men Eating Out!”.

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:39 am

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.”

“We’re new here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.”

The first bat replies, “Who needs them? I can find some blood some where.” He flies out of the cave.

When he returns, he is covered with blood.

"Where did you get the blood?” asks the other.

The fist bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the dark, he asks “See that black building over there?”

“Yes.” the other bat answers.

“Well,” says the first bat. “I didn’t”.


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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Sun Nov 21, 2010 7:29 am

“I’ve got a nice, easy job for the laziest man among you,” the platoon sergeant barked at the recruits lined up before him. “Will the laziest man raise his hand?” All hands went up, except recruit Raymond.

“Why didn’t you raise your hand?” the sergeant asked the remaining recruit.

The soldier replied, “Too much of a trouble to raise my hand”


Disclaimer: All names in this thread are fictitious, 如有雷同,纯属巧合

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Mon Nov 22, 2010 4:34 am

A man answered his doorbell, and a friend walked in, followed by a very large dog. As they began talking, the dog knocked over a lamp, jumped on the sofa with his muddy paws and began chewing a pillow. The outraged householder, unable to contain himself any longer, burst out, "Can't you control your dog better?"

"My dog!" exclaimed the friend. "I thought it's your dog."

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

Post by Inachi on Mon Nov 22, 2010 4:52 am

During one of the Georgraphy classes, Denmark came into discussion. Ah Beng looked up, a bit puzzled, and asked, "Where's Denmark?" At the teacher's suggestion, he looked on a globe to try to locate the country. After a few moments, he called out proudly, "I've found it." To the teacher's surprise, however, he was pointing to the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Sure enough, DENMARK was there, with two inconspicuous words on top declaring, "MADE IN".

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Re: Laughter, The Best Medicine

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